Teambuilding 101
by aconstantsinging
Summary: Kiba and Ino on cross-team training. Cracky drabblefic, written on prompt from MomerathsOutgrabe28.


"The point of this exercise," said Ino, "is to facilitate cross-team bonding."

She ignored Kiba's expression at the word "bonding" and went on as she laid another layer of wood on the fire.

"...as well as to provide each of us with training in a branch of the ninja arts in which we are – in which we do not excel," she finished sourly, for the combined reasons that a) she had been about to admit she sucked at taijutsu, and b) she was starting to sound like Iruka-sensei.

Kiba just smiled, apparently not picking up at her bad mood. And looked at her. And, gods, he was probably sniffing her at that very moment, wasn't that what Inuzukas did?

Ino swatted at a mosquito. Why did this exercise have to involve camping out, anyway? Alone with... with _him_, of all shinobi in the village?

"Are you going to stand there... _leering_" (she'd picked up the word from _Kool Kunoichi_ and was rather fond of flinging it in the face of unwanted suitors, so she repeated it) "_leering_ at me all day, or should we actually pretend we are shinobi and get some training done?"

Kiba's face fell in a satisfactory way. "I was not leering," he retorted lamely. "I was... just smiling, I guess?"

"Well, why are you smiling at me?"

"...because... uh... Why shouldn't I smile?" He sounded irrationally mad, as if he was the one wronged here. When he'd obviously been checking her out. Men! Put on a short skirt, a bra with a bit of padding – mind you, not a lot, nowhere like what Sakura must use, just that little extra to show off her cleavage to best advantage – and they start panting like dogs.

Not a large change for Kiba.

He probably would not understand her ire, ruled as he was by his animal instincts.

"Never mind," Ino finished with a long-suffering sigh. "Look, we'll start with me showing you how to resist genjutsu."

"Why don't we start with _me_ showing _you_ something?"

"Because..."

Ino was momentarily lost for word, not being used at all to this sort of resistance. Most men in her daily life, including her father, she had wrapped around her little finger; Shikamaru was too lazy to complain and Chouji just went along with everything. The way it ought to be.

Had Kiba been taking lessons in resistance from (the undoubtedly one hundred percent gay) Hyuuga Neji?

She quickly gathered her wits about her, however..

"...because it would be common courtesy to allow me to go first!"

She forced a bit of sweetness into her voice; about a level 3 out of 10. Level five was for somewhat attractive men, 10 was reserved for very expensive dresses from her father, or Uchiha Sasuke. Kiba was really only about a half, but she wanted this over with.

The sooner they could get home, the better.

Kiba crossed his arms in front of his chest and showed his fangs in a most disconcerting grimace of a smirk.

"But it wouldn't be logical. With me going first, we'd be doing taijutsu first, then genjutsu with you when we're tired out. 'Sides, Akamaru's itching to move, aren't you, boy?" he asked the slobbering mutt by his side. Said slobbering mutt wagged its tail enthusiastically, then – horror of horrors! - bounded over to Ino and started jumping up her new skirt, unleashing a cacophony of barks to her sensitive ears.

"Argh! Go away! Ew! Bad doggie, _bad_!"

Akamaru gave something she swore was the canine equivalent of an evil grin and, standing on his hind legs to reach her face with ease, took a long tongue swipe at Ino's meticulously applied make-up.

"Aaaargh! That does it! I am not doing anything with you or that flea bag!"

That got a rise out of Kiba. Anger flared in his cheeks. "He doesn't have fleas! Why do you need to paint your face for training in a fucking forest, anyway?"

"Because I care about making a good impression on people, something you could obviously learn from!"

"You're not doing it now!"

"Why should I when you're being an insensitive ass?"

"...Argh! Shit, just forget this, I ain't training with you!"

"Fine, because _I _am not training with _YOU!_"

There was silence for a while on either side of the unlit fire.

Ino seethed.

Kiba fumed.

Ino simmered.

Kiba sizzled.

Ino miserably annihilated another mosquito.

Kiba took a swig from his canteen; then held it out so Akamaru could drink from his hand.

It occurred to Ino that maybe she was being just the slightest bit unfair.

Kiba _had _almost sacrificed his life trying to save Sasuke from those Oto-nin, years ago.

She could remember getting together with him once or twice and actually laughing at one of his jokes.

It was... maybe... slightly appealing to watch the muscles in his arm flex when he held out the canteen.

And if this was how it was going to be for the next seven days, Ino was definitely going to defect to Oto.

"Ahem," she cleared her throat. "We could make a compromise; start with ninjutsu?"

Kiba didn't look up from his task, but nodded.

"Alright!" Ino jumped to her feet, relishing in the movement that broke the awkward spell.

Wait, he still wasn't moving. Or looking at her. How was that for a change, all of a sudden?

"You know," Kiba began in a low voice, "I actually thought you..."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Oh."

There was a pause, in which a cricket actually chirped.

This was silly, Ino reflected. Dog boy was supposed to be loud and uncomplicated, not, well. Brooding.

As always, it was up to her to salvage the ruined remnants of a chance to make this a halfway enjoyable week.

"O-KAY!" she burst out and cringed at the shrillness she could even hear herself. "Let's start off with something easy, like a henge!"

Kiba looked up sharply. "What?" he blurted.

"You know, a henge? Turn into something else?" She demonstrated by turning into a log and back again with a soft pop, for comical effect, not to mock him at all.

Really.

Ooh, when he blushed, his cheeks almost got as red as his face marks.

Were they tattoos?

How would they feel when...

"OK, yeah, I get it already," Kiba interrupted her derailed train of thought. Just as well, because the sun was clearly getting to Ino's head. "You, eh, wanna start?"

This was odd, but Ino put it down to Kiba's masculine courtesy finally and belatedly having awoken. "Alright!" she chirped, and quickly assumed the henge stance. Handseals flew, and Ino was gone, leaving a beautiful, long-plumed parakeet behind. She did a few laps around Kiba's head and skimmed along Akamaru's broad back before settling on a stump and changing back, quite pleased with her display.

Kiba didn't seem impressed.

If anything, he looked nervous.

Akamaru whimpered at something.

"I know, buddy," Kiba said to the dog. "Don't worry."

Ino was perplexed.

Kiba wiped his brow. "Alright," he said, "Henge!"

The tattooed boy was lost in a cloud of smoke and replaced by...

Ino couldn't suppress a giggle, but in her defense, she did her best to make it non-scornful. "Very original."

Kiba's tail sank a bit. "Well, yours wasn't that far from your normal form either," he muttered.

Odd as it was to hear a huge wolf-hound who even had muscles on its muscles speak in Kiba's voice, although a bit muffled by the different jaw and long fangs, Ino didn't miss the jibe.

"Yeah, you made your point, now change back... wait!" she interrupted.

Kiba's canine eyes regarded her surprisedly as she walked closer and extended a hand to scratch him behind the ears, and smiled her utter glee to the world when his tail did indeed begin to wag.

She backed off with a grin.

Kiba glared.

...and glared.

…and looked increasingly distraught, odd as it was to see that on a dog's – face?

"What's wrong?" Ino asked, laughter in her voice. Did he perhaps prefer this form?

Kiba didn't say anything; just screwed his deep black eyes shut in concentration. Ino's laughter faded as she regarded the powerful canine. _He still has the marks in his fur_, she thought distractedly.

Finally, Kiba-the-dog sagged to the ground in defeat. "Ino, you're really not going to believe this..."

Quite a few birds in the canopy above got the shock of their lives at Ino's scream.

"_What do you mean, you can't change back?"_

"I always really, really sucked at henge no jutsu," Kiba muttered. "It's something to do with being Inuzuka – my mum says our brains can't really understand the concept of more than one form." He nosed at Akamaru's jaw; the large dog was licking its shape-changed master's ear sympathetically. "So half the times I change, I can't change back for a while."

"What..." Ino could think of nothing to say that would contain the enormity of Kiba's sheer stupidity.

_Does this mean I have to put the tent up by myself!?!?!?!_

"I see," she said in her patented chill voice – known to be the envy of freezer merchants everywhere. "Then why, Kiba Inuzuka, did you choose to be so monumentally idiotic as to change in the first place?"

Kiba's nose touched the ground between his... front paws.

"Mumblemumblemumble."

"What was that, again?"

Approaching zero Kelvin, roger.

"I said, I wanted to impress you."

"...oh."

Dog form, human form, not much difference, anyway.

Besides...

Alright, he was really cute when he wagged his tail.

And if Ino was in any luck, the henge'd go wrong enough that when Kiba changed back, he'd be naked.


End file.
